A note to student loan consolidators: I have already consolidated my loans. You can stop sending your letters.
I get a ridiculous amount of mail from student loan consolidation companies seeking to cash in on my the fact that I (a) have good credit, and (b) owe a mountain of money. I used to think all these “notices” were from one persistent company, but they all seem to come from different places. The senders are reputable companies like “Student Loan Processing Center” and “Federal Loan Consolidation Department”. Here is my collection thus far:
We start with the official looking envelops. These ads attempt to disguise themselves as official notices or bills:

Next are the truly annoying “tear-off” notices. These look like my high school report card. The sender shifts the burden of folding letters and stuffing envelops to the recipient who carefully tears off three edges only to find an advertisement inside.

Finally, the postcards. These at least admit on their face that they’re not going to get much attention. The worst of these has to be the “Dude, did you know…” Finally an advertisement that really knows where I’m coming from – struggling between my cheesy street-slang roots and my professionally formal lawyer ways. Second place goes to the “Warning” for bringing the important matter of interest rates to my attention as though it was a beastly dog. I may have to put that one up in my window as a warning to would-be intruders.

All this and not a single company offering a free iPod* for multi-thousand dollar commitment. Amazing.
* iPod mini